{"id":58,"date":"2023-07-21T00:44:46","date_gmt":"2023-07-21T00:44:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/2023\/07\/21\/is-it-ok-to-read-tragic-stories-to-children\/"},"modified":"2024-01-08T03:33:22","modified_gmt":"2024-01-08T03:33:22","slug":"is-it-ok-to-read-tragic-stories-to-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/blog\/is-it-ok-to-read-tragic-stories-to-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Is It OK To Read Tragic Stories to Children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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This question came up recently, and it is a really good topic to think about. When is it ok to read books full of tragedy to children? How much trauma is too much trauma? Is it fine to read them books about death? What about kidnapping? Or murder? Oh! It\u2019s all just too dark! But wait\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We live in a fallen world. There is sin and darkness on every side. Death happens every day. Yes, our job as parents is to protect, but it is also our job to educate and enable. One of the best ways to do this is through books. As a dear friend put it, \u201c{Good} Stories are such a great way to gently expose our children to hard truths about real life.\u201d Children need healthy examples of walking through such hardships with grit and grace, and to come out on the other side a better and stronger person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Children should be taught early on that life is not all sunshine and roses. And do you know where you can start? The Bible. Just think about the accounts of Joseph being sold as a slave by his brothers. How traumatic is that?! Or David killing Goliath and cutting off his head. Gross! Young Hebrew children being taken captive and turned into slaves. Despicable! And what about the most important story of all\u2026the crucifixion. The Bible says Jesus was beaten up so badly, you couldn\u2019t even tell he looked like a man! All tragic? Yes. Traumatizing? Possibly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE KEY to reading stories with tragedy is to FIND THE ONES THAT END WITH HOPE\u2014the ones where the character comes through his tragedy… Sad? Yes. Hurting? Yes. But a better person for going through it. These are the types of stories that grow us, that make us better people. These are the types of stories we should be reading with our kids.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Disclaimer:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not advocating reading junk. There are a lot of dark stories that are filled with too many details and too much description of darkness. Stay away from those. I\u2019m advocating for finding the good and beautiful stories that are full of both tragedy and hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remembered Gladys Hunt\u2019s book, Honey for a Child’s Heart<\/a>, and how many, MANY amazing quotes just stir the heart about this topic! Here is some food for thought:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cWhat kind of books? \u2018Stories that make for wonder. Stories that make for laughter. Stories that stir one within with an understanding of the true nature of courage, of love, of beauty. Stories that make one tingle with high adventure, with daring, with grim determination, with the capacity of seeing danger through to the end. Stories that bring our minds to kneel in reverence; stories that show the tenderness of true mercy, the strength of loyalty, the unmawkish respect for what is good.\u2019 These wonderfully descriptive words from Ruth Sawyer excite me as a book lover. A good book is always an experience containing spiritual, emotional, and intellectual dimensions.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cEvery child needs to see the possibilities of being human, watch the consequences of choices, and have their hearts stretched by goodness and courage in action. A good book has a profound kind of morality\u2014not a cheap, sentimental sort that thrives on shallow plots and superficial heroes, but the sort of force that inspires the reader\u2019s inner life and draws out what is noble.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cGood books are the stuff that makes up life. Most books are about relationships\u2014siblings and friends, parents and children\u2014and the emotions these relationships engender\u2014joy and sorrow, hate and love, admiration and envy, anger and hope. This is essentially true of fiction and nonfiction and even fantasy.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cChildhood is so brief and yet so open and formative that we must not neglect our responsibility to furnish it with what we know is good. Impressions are taken into maturity; we are shaping a future.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

{Excerpt from <\/em>Honey for a Child\u2019s Heart<\/em><\/a> by Gladys Hunt}<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I put this question forward to my Instagram audience, the responses were extremely insightful and thought provoking. Here are what a few of you had to say…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cStories are such a GREAT way to gently expose our children to hard truths about real life. Children have an uncanny way of being able to internalize truths without taking them personally. Reading stories where parents die, a house fire destroys everything a family owns, a child is left crippled after an accident, etc. reaffirms something our children already know\u2014bad things happen to the people around us\u2014and even us. The key takeaway from a book like this is that even though sad and tragic things take place in our broken world, at the end of the day, the main character is OKAY. Sad? Probably. Different than when the story started? Most definitely. But still okay, and probably a better person than at the beginning.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 Joye<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cI personally think it depends on the child\u2019s background. My daughter who is 7 I think would struggle with it. She has experienced a time when her mom could\u2019ve died with leukemia and a stem cell transplant. She remember it! She still struggles with fear of my health, even over 4 years later. My son, on the other hand, was a baby. He doesn\u2019t remember it. I don\u2019t think he\u2019d be bothered by it. Eventually my daughter will be ok with things like this, but I have to keep a check on her. Of course, talking about things and being open helps. It\u2019s the discretion of the parent. They know their child best.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 Heather<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cI generally prefer to introduce a difficult topic via a read aloud so I can gauge their reaction and discuss. Depending on how they handle it, I then introduce it in independent reading. \u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 Erin<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cI think it\u2019s important for children to understand that life has joy and sadness and that God is the one who gives meaning to it all. We can\u2019t possible shield them from all sad and unpleasant things. I think that\u2019s to their detriment. They need to see healthy examples of how to deal with pain and sadness.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 Brooke<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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>
\u201cAbsolutely agree that books are an amazing way to teach empathy…not just for kids. I have grown so much in this area by reading memoirs!! My kids have always responded very well to stories about hardships in other people\u2019s lives without worrying the same will happen to them. Of course books CAN portray a story in a \u201cdark\u201d way that would invoke fear. But we aren\u2019t reading those kinds of books. Some extra conversation about certain stories or parts of the story is beneficial and isn\u2019t that one of the reasons we read with our kids anyway? To \u201cnaturally\u201d provide these opportunities to be able to have deeper conversations with our kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 Sunny<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This has been such a fun conversation, and if you have any more to add to it, let me know in the comments below!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When is it ok to read books full of tragedy to children? How much trauma is too much trauma? Is it fine to read them books about death? What about kidnapping? Or murder? Oh! It\u2019s all just too dark! But wait\u2026 <\/p>\n

We live in a fallen world. There is sin and darkness on every side. Death happens every day. Yes, our job as parents is to protect, but it is also our job to educate and enable. One of the best ways to do this is through books. As a dear friend put it, \u201c{Good} Stories are such a great way to gently expose our children to hard truths about real life.\u201d Children need healthy examples of walking through such hardships with grit and grace, and to come out on the other side a better and stronger person.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":59,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[82,104,97,81],"tags":[9,12,103,100,8,99,102,101],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-audio-books","category-audio-dramas","category-audiobooks","category-books","tag-audiobooks","tag-books","tag-conversations","tag-genres","tag-resources","tag-stories","tag-tragedy","tag-tragic"],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/img.jpg?fit=1920%2C1317&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2739,"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions\/2739"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/59"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/faithfulandflourishing.org\/staging\/9315\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}